It may be winter, but Spring is just around the corner. The habitual overhaul of our worldly possessions has become a rather traditional part of the changing season in the West, getting rid of all of the bunk that drove us crazy during the long days of November - February, and to make room for the gifts received during the holidays.
Along with that Spring cleaning craze comes the joint donation-selling part of the deal, which can only mean one thing: garage sales. Whether you are a newcomer to the fundamentals of bargaining for a $4 toaster, or you are a seasoned veteran who can battle up a customer up to $25 for an broken umbrella (a fixer-upper, I'm sure!), don't be like the people below and screw up when it comes to the sign. You can bet these babies are sure to catch the wrong kind of attention.
1. Garage Sale Fence Sign
Nothing says "We've been drinking heavily since dawn" like a garage sale sign made of plastic cups stuck in a fence.
On a serious note, did you know that "Cuprocking" (creating masterpieces using plastic cups stuck in chain link fence) is the form of modern street art? I don't know who actually coined the term but of you search Flickr, you'll find wonderful examples!
While in some situations this technique is known as a form of street art, and it can be a fun activity for the kids, you might want to stick with the better known fliers next time. Cool or not, it's still litter.
2. Brand New Dead Things
Well tie me down and beat me with a meat club! Look at that ma, they are sellin' brand new dead things! You just have to love such an enticing method of drawing the crowds to roadkill for sale, and if this was meant to be tongue-in-cheek it is pretty funny. That doesn't mean I would personally be seen speeding my car to get first dibs of the mangled skunk carcass.
3. Too Weird to Be Sold
A weird sign at a garage sale apparently dedicated to selling weird things. At least they are being consistent. Though maybe it would have been a better idea to pop those behind a crate next to the lawn chairs you're swilling beer and counting money from, rather than displaying them where someone could mistake them for merchandise.
4. Awesome Yard Sale!
Remember what your mother always told you: honesty is the best policy. If you don't truly have a yard sale that is going to have the neighborhood talking for years, the vocab downgrade is probably a good idea. But why be so hard on yourself? That mediocre glass isn't half empty, it is half full! Gather together some fireworks, put in an open bar, hire a mariachi band and make this the most kick ass garage sale/neighborhood block party ever!
5. A Better Way to Advertise?
I can totally respect using lingerie to bring the masses running to your selection of broken Atari controllers and maternity pants, really I can. But if you are going to go with the "sex sells" adage, couldn't you have at the very least used a few bras that don't look like my 80-year-old bought for their feisty color and great support? This is the kind of underwear you would be ashamed to be seen in.