In the land of Procrasti-Nation

Amen to that! This is actually one of my favorite images that I have seen recently.

Even people who aren’t huge procrastinators can certainly relate to this. But a true procrastinator has travelled the world 10 times over….daily. I love the “Isle get it done” especially. Hehe.

When I die, delete my browser history

Medical Alert bracelets are usually  to signal to emergency medics if you have a potentially life threatening issue. That might be something like epilepsy, autism, food allergies, etc.

This one, though, is to replace the age old “hey buddy, if I ever die, there’s a box in the back of my closet…..”

In my case, deleting my browser history would simply clear up a couple gigs worth of junk. :P I practically never clear it and I visit hundreds of sites daily. Oops.

The most easily scared man in the world

Haha!

I didn’t think I would enjoy this video at all. I started getting bored only a few seconds in. This guy really is over-the-top jumpy, though, even if he’s expecting to get scared. Too funny.

What do men and women wear to formal functions?

That looks about right, huh?

I hate trying to figure out what to wear to weddings and whatnot. Guys have it so much easier. Even if they’re overdressed, they still look great and it’s acceptable. When women overdress, all the attention gets put on them and it’s not always appropriate at all.

I may have a tab issue

Cyanide and Happiness

What do color blind people see?

This is what happens every time a person finds out another person is color blind. Beware: Says the ‘F’ word toward the end rather loudly, but it’s worth it. Just don’t listen while your boss is nearby unless he’s one of those really cool bosses that will love this sort of thing.

Guy describing color blindness - Funny video

The Best of YouTube videos compilation

Using Bohemian Rhapsody as background music for videos is really overdone, but in this case, works awesome. If you pay attention to the lyrics while watching, you’ll notice how well synced up they are, too. I love how perfect the Mentos show is for the end of the song, too.

Dr. Seuss battles Shakespeare - Who would win?

This is Epic Rap Battle of History #12

The language is *not* completely clean, so careful if there are ears around that are only PG, but nothing too too major. Besides, it’s worth it to hear someone dressed as Shakespeare rap “ye hoebag, you’re an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag….egads, it’s so sad” :P

And come on, Cat in the Hat rockin’ it out with Thing 1 and Thing 2??

Okay, so it’s a little creepy actually, but still pretty good. Kudos to the rapper starting about 1:15 in…..I love Dr. Seuss, but go go Shakespeare!

Double Dream Feet!! - Really, there are no other words…

Really. Speechless. Just keep watching.

How to CAPTCHA idiots - Grammar Nazis will win

I am completely on bored with this.

Unless it’s at 4 in the morning.

And it gives me effect/affect. Then I’ll pass. But for everybody/everything else, perfect!

If you thought ninjas were cool….

Wait until you get a pair of nunchucks. ;)

Okay, this is the part where you groan and giggle.

Cigarette socks - When you just can’t get enough nicotine

Clever, huh? I’m surprised they’re not laced with nicotine that can be absorbed directly.

So we just Googled the book?

From It Made My Day

I work in a college library and mostly students come just to use the computers. Yesterday our server was down and there was no Internet. One panicked student came in needing information for a report he'd forgotten to write, so I found him a book, which he started leafing through, searching for the information he needed. I took pity on him and showed him how to use the index and he turned to me and said, "So we just Googled the book and the index is our list of hits?" IMMD!

They see me rollin’…

They hatin’….

 

Go ahead. Say “awwww…”

Four-handed hick bluegrass guitar version of Gaga’s Bad Romance

 

How’s that for a descriptive title? I really don’t know what else to say about it, lol. It’s worth wasting the 2 minutes to watch, but um, I’m at a loss for words otherwise. :P

Gitcha Goomsba Up - Leavensworth is the place to be

Best marketing makeover ever and it's definitely going viral. Who wouldn't want to visit Leavensworth after this? The tune, lyrics, and video are all catchy and yet still manage to try to be informative about the town.
Have you ever seen a tourism ad quite like this?  I can't help but want to listen to it over and over again and the absurdity makes me giggle. Way to go Goomsba!
Thanks khorre! Oh, and here's a behind-the-scenes video, too.

~Edit~ Apparently the video didn't show up. Wtf? Fixed now. 

5 Reasons Why Your Neighbors Hate You, and How to Repair the Relationship (Guest)

Hey look, it's Jennifer again!

Are your neighbors giving you the cold shoulder, or worse? If you have no idea why, check out this list to find out why your neighbors hate you:

1. But, It's A Classic!

Let's face it; you've been promising to fix up that old junker for years.

If your favorite ride is starting to sprout a garden of its own, it has got to go! There's nothing worse than a next-door neighbor with their own personal junk yard in the front. Even a covered clunker is an eyesore. If it makes you feel better, Old Betsy can go to a good cause. When you donate your old vehicle to Kars4Kids, you'll get the following advantages:

• Easy Online Donation Form
• Quick, Free Pickups
• A Valuable Tax Donation AND a Free Hotel Voucher

Best of all, your neighbors might not hate you anymore and won't try to plan flowers in your old clunker. Just maybe.

 

2. Everyone's a Music Lover, Right?

Sure, everyone loves music, just not your music! If you're just learning how to play the tuba, your neighbors don't want to hear that noise at all hours of the morning. The same goes for your garage band.

If you play rap or heavy metal until your over-sized bass amp shakes the window frames for a 10-mile radius, turn it down! The same goes for any other really loud noises that go on and on.

3. What Are You Waiting For? Next Christmas?

If your Christmas tree has been sitting at the curb so long everyone thinks you're waiting on it to grow legs and walk to the dump, it's a sure bet that you've gotten on more than one neighbor's last nerve.

Before next December rolls around, call a trash removal service to pick up that old, dried-up, tinsel-encrusted relic, along with any other unsightly debris in your yard. While you're at it, think about taking down the Christmas lights, too!

Image Source

4. My Dog Would Never Bother Anyone

Although you love your dog, your neighbors might not be so thrilled with him, especially if he does his thing in their yards each and every time nature calls or barks like he has rabies whenever they step outside.

Digging holes in their flower gardens and chasing their cats won't win any popularity contests, either. While no one is suggesting you get rid of Rover, keep him in your own yard and try some obedience classes to get the barking under control.

5. What Lawnmower?

If letting your grass grow past the two-foot mark is your idea of going green, think again. Of course, you are conserving energy -- your own and the lawnmower's -- but no one else appreciates this eco-friendly effort. Unless your entire neighborhood is planning on raising a herd of goats, each and every neighbor hates you and your yard.

Cut your grass, trim your bushes, and rake your leaves. You'll be amazed when people actually start to wave when they see you working in your yard!

Lucky for you, most of these issues are easy to fix. Make a few adjustments, no matter how painful, and you'll be nominated for neighbor of the year before you know it!

Instructions for properly hugging a baby

This came via an email from my mom, so I don't know the original source. It was too cute to not share with you guys, though. :)

 

1. First, find a baby. 

2. Second, be sure that the object you found was indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques.

3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process.

4. The "paw slide": Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.

5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented "hug, smile, and lean" so as to achieve the best photo quality.

Quirky pregnancy signs (Guest)

Another guest post here from Tania....love this one! If you've ever been pregnant, had a pregnant spouse, or found yourself reading too many mommy bloggers, you'll get a chuckle out of several of these.

When
I was so touched by a small gift that a friend gave me that I actually
cried, I knew it was time to take a pregnancy test. It was, of course,
positive. Pregnancy can be hilarious, especially when it is not our
pregnancy we’re looking it. With all those unpleasant pregnancy signs
and symptoms, the best defense is arming ourselves with a sense of
humor. Let’s take a look at the top ten quirky pregnancy habits. These
weird and wonderful habits will have you spitting out your drink... but
if you have a weak stomach, this is not for you!

You know that you are pregnant when...

1. You
   have visited every toilet in the mall multiple times, often only
   minutes apart. Your reasons for running to the toilet as quickly as you
   might vary throughout your pregnancy, from morning sickness to the need
   to pee every five minutes, but the restroom marathon will only end when
   you give birth.
2. You
   wake up in the middle of the night with a terrible craving for your
   favorite ice cream (or insert the craving of your choice here!), but you
   start feeling sick and throw up halfway through your snack. Who said
   morning sickness only happened in the morning? When you are done
   vomiting, you return to your snack as if nothing ever happened.
3. You
   start crying when your computer crashes, when your bank manager calls
   you to discuss that overdraft, or when your husband says he’ll be ten
   minutes late for that lunch. And that TV commercial is so touching that
   you can’t stop sobbing. Even if you were an ice queen before you got
   pregnant.
4. You
   are willing to drive for an hour to get your favorite nachos to go, and
   eat them in under ten minutes during the drive back home.
5. Forget about the pickled gherkins... you could drink all the vinegar out of that jar!
6. When your water breaks, you have to do the smell test to make sure you didn’t pee yourself!
7. You
   think getting up at midnight to put the new baby’s crib together is a
   perfectly reasonable thing to do. And you might as well paint the room
   while you are at it, too!
8. You forget that you can no longer squeeze in between two parked cars because of your baby bump, and you get stuck!
9. When you put the dirty dishes in the washing machine instead of the sink.
10. You
    can’t tie your own shoe laces any more. Or even see your feet, for that
    matter. And you have had to ask store assistants to tie your laces for
    you after trying on maternity clothes.

Do you have your own favorite pregnancy memory to add? Please let us know what quirky habits you had when you were expecting!

5 Everyday Things that Make Me Nervous (Guest)

Here's a post from Nicolas D'Alleva about things that make him nervous.

There are some quirky examples in there and I especially love the kerosene story because I have my own "flammable liquid" incident. Here's the really quick version:

When I was working at a university front desk, we had someone piggyback into the building that shouldn't be there. He was older, dirty, likely drunk or at least mentally unstable, and started harassing my coworker. He opted to finally leave a message for the manager and agreed to leave. After writing down the message, he proceeded to wad up the paper and eat it. He left, though, and they were relieved, only for him to return a few minutes later with a bucket of oil that he flung across the counter, covering my coworker, the desk, the floor, everything. Holy cow! Fortunately he left for good after that.

Anyway, back to Nicholas. Do any of these things make you really nervous, too?

5. The Metal Detectors at Banks

I really don’t like those double door security entrances to banks. You know, the ones where you have to open a door, step through a metal detector, wait for the first door to close behind you, and then step through a second door. I seem to always have my laptop bag when I go to the bank, which always trips the detector, which makes me anxious for a moment. A few people in the lobby turn to look at you when they hear it, which can make you feel like you’re making other people feel nervous too. It must happen all day long, though, because the bank employees don’t give it much attention. I don’t really know what the purpose of these detectors is; they just indicate a person has something metallic with them, making the devices about as useful as if they detected wool or rubber or any other material.

Despite encountering this again and again, that beeping noise still makes me a bit nervous, so I might suppose their point is to deter would-be bank robbers from bringing in weapons. If someone has their mind set on robbing a bank, though; are they likely to be dissuaded by a device that reacts the same way to guns as it does to any number of harmless items? Is it really giving anyone a worthwhile heads-up to the possibility of someone with weapons in the room? Not if it just goes off all day long. I suspect there is more to this but, for me right now; they are just annoying and make me nervous.

4. Really Loud Express Trains on the Subway

When on the platform for the local train, I’m always caught off guard by the express trains. Between trains, the subway tunnel can be as quiet as a tomb and, suddenly, an express train will roar through at high speed. I’ve witnessed this happening hundreds of times and it continues to surprise me.

3. Mentally Unbalanced Homeless People

For the most part, I don’t mind encountering homeless people. Although it might be kind of sad to say, they largely blend in to their surroundings once you’ve become used to them. They hang out in doorways holding cups and asking for spare change, they ride public transportation, and they sleep on park benches. Despite their appearance, they usually won’t cause you any more harm than anyone else out there on the street. That is, of course, unless they are mentally unbalanced.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine encountered this sort of person while waiting for a bus. First the guy started talking about how he’s been having bad luck lately, then he started talking about some sort of conspiracy directed at him, then he started talking about the weather. He continued, changing the subject frequently, not making a whole lot of sense overall. Finally my friend asks him “What do you want? You’ve been going on and on and I get the impression you’re leading up to something, so… what do you want from me?” After a moment, the man’s eyes got wide and his face lit up in a crazed expression as he gave his answer, “KEROSENE!” Meeting someone who, inexplicably, is asking strangers in your neighborhood for a flammable substance is sure to be unsettling.

2. Low Cell Phone Battery

In the same way I suffer from cell phone separation anxiety, I get anxious when the battery gets low and I don’t have an opportunity to charge it. The concern isn’t so much that there will be an emergency and I need to contact someone. I could just borrow a phone from someone or use a nearby landline for that. No, I get anxious because I’m out of touch. If my battery dies and a friend wants to tell me about something cool going on later that day, I’d be losing out. If someone needs to ask me something urgent, they’ll be inconvenienced until later when I can finally answer their text message. I know it’s ridiculous how attached society has become to their cell phones, but it is still uncomfortable when one of your main modes of communication is out of commission.

1. Icy Roads and Sidewalks

For a large part of the year, I don’t have to worry about slipping and falling suddenly on the sidewalk. Crashing my car is hardly a daily concern. This is, of course, unless it’s the winter and the roads and sidewalks have iced over. In that case, I make a point of walking more carefully, not driving as fast, and taking better notice of any ice in front of me. But no matter what, I end up wiping out on some steps or experience my car sliding when making a turn. At this point I get even more careful and end up taking even more time getting places. It’s worth it not to have an accident. Eventually the weather gets warmer, which tricks me into thinking the ice has gone; but then I make the mistake of riding my bike and skid sideways through some melting snow.

Nicolas is the owner of Specialty Answering Service, a nationwide toll free answering service that caters to both large and small businesses across the country. Specialty provides a Spanish answering service for those companies that need both English and Spanish support.